Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

Obama

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

What did you say? I don't know.

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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