What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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No.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Canada

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Turtles

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Dear John,

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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lololololololololol

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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