How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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GOODBYE

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guess what? bannanas

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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