A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Indians

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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