What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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guess what?

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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I hate you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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