what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where does a hobo live? A box.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops