My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A black guy gets arrested...

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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123457

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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