whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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whats black. an african american person

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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