How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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