What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did you get for your birthday? I got older

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

thumb_up thumb_down -11

drew edminstin is a rat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops