roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

Women's Rights

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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