What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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