What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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