A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

Are you gay? No. Ok.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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