why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops