What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Double-whammy

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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