Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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