Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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the love boat

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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