Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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