What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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Your mom

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops