What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

if a dog eats a hot dog what will happen? (leave a comment to find out)

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

Knock Knock! Come in..

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

kk

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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