Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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A guy walks into a bar

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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