Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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