Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Poop!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a pornstar comes early to a party

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lets go Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

purple pickles

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops