A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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