In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Barack Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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