Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Woman's Rights

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops