Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops