With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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im watching you..

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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TELL

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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