What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

TELL

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops