Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -6

all these jokes suck ass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

#scabbers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops