What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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what happens during a climax apples

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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