A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

YOU

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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