a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops