A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops