Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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Penis chickens

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Turkey Balls

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops