Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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