Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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