An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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