-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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