If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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