- Anti Joke

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

banana

ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

in soviet russia, cow milks you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

Women's Rights Movement

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!