What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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