Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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This is a joke setup.

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops