What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

so dont touch it.

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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