what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Poop

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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