Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -171

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

2 women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops