How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops