Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

white or wheat? wheat please.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

You know whats annoying? Steve

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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