What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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